Five Things I Wish I Was Told When I Came to College

As the trees begin to change color and the leaves begin their slow cascade from branch to earth, I can't help but fall into a reflective mood. Students, including myself, have just endured the slings and arrows of their midterm exams and can now take a step back and breath a sigh of relief. We are half-way through this semester! But with this realization also comes this awareness: its my 3rd year at Ohio State and I'm more than half-way finished with my undergraduate education. Entering stressing-about-the-future mode, my brain begins to formulate its favorite anxiety-laden questions. Am I making the most of the time I have in college? Am I set up to succeed after I graduate? If any of you are having these thoughts too, I hope I can quell some of your concerns with this entry. I don't claim to have the all the answers to these questions (heck I'm the one asking them), but to the high school students and underclassmen undergraduates out there (and anyone else prone to worry), I hope I can offer some advice.

I know there are plenty of people that want to get on their soap box and give tips to young impressionable students on how to live your lives (I know this because I've witnessed several of them on the Oval with "Eternal Damnation" and "Repent!" signs). I don't want to be one of those people. I just want to share what I have learned over the past two years in college. I hope I can lend more of a student perspective that goes beyond "Get involved, make good decisions, and don't do drugs." Read it and feel free to disagree. There are plenty of ways to spend your college experience, and I don't claim to have all the answers. I just want to share the things I have learned from my time at Ohio State thus far. With that disclaimer behind us, lets venture onward! Presenting: "Five Things I Wish I Was Told When I Came to College."

#1. Ask:

I've realized the majority of the growth experiences I have had were things I had to ask about. While succeeding in your classes is paramount, most of the things worth doing in college will happen outside of the classroom. You will need to do some investigation to find those things that will make your undergrad years as meaningful as possible.

Ask people to mentor you: College is a great time to court mentors. The magic phrase that you always have in your back pocket in college is "Hey, I'm a student!" Being a student or announcing you are a student can open many doors. Reach out with people that you want to emulate, that you respect, that have a track record for mentoring students. Even ones that don't. Ask them to go to lunch and pick their brains, and then get lunch with them and follow-up. Ask them for life advice. The faculty and staff at your college have a surplus of life advice and opportunities they would like to provide you (present and future), so take the time to reach out and connect with them! Credit goes to Jason Nazar, CEO of Docstoc for the idea of courting mentors. Check out his video here: (https://www.udemy.com/lectures/lesson-8-court-mentors-61766).

Ask to expand your network: Networking is a vital skill. Hone it in college. In the real world, people pay hundreds of dollars to go to conferences to network with contacts and learn about their field. College is a four year opportunity to do just that! Networking is making friends and connections with people before you need them, and its easy to do. Just ask! Ask to get lunch with students you aspire to be like. If you have a professor you admire, ask to get involved in their research projects. If you attend a talk or lecture that resonates with you, approach the presenter at the end and ask for their card. And always follow-up! If you expand your network now, and it will will much easier to connect with people down the road.

Ask people what they read: People's favorite books often define their philosophies and these books can help shape you too. Its a shame that people don't read books like they used to, but taking the time to read two or three books a semester can help you expand your mind and learn about the world in new ways. Also, buy an e-reader (I love the Kindle). They are portable, easy on the eyes, and hold thousands of books at a time. Even better, there are so many free books online that you can read on its lovely e-ink screen.

Ask good questions: The key to succeeding in your classes is to always ask good questions about the material. Continue to ask good questions both in and out of classes. Consider what parts of the material are confusing to you and go to office hours and ask good questions to your professor. They will be impressed with the time you spent thinking about the material and they will usually give a helpful explanation.

#2. Don't Pass Up on Important Experiences:

It's important to complete your school work, but you can't have a full college experience if it is only lived through a textbook. Go on adventures, travel, and try new things. You will realize what you enjoy and what you are truly passionate about. 

Get the full college experience: You will always have something you need to work on in college. You may have a midterm to study for or a homework assignment to complete. Still, there will be opportunities to take a trip with your friends for the weekend, participate in a event at your university, attend a fascinating talk, or attend a conference in a different state. Take that trip, see that lecture, and go to that conference! Just make sure your assignments get done (perhaps on the plane)!

Study abroad: In tune with bite-sized, weekend experiences, I'd like to give an aside to one (more long term) recommendation. You should study abroad (or have some sort of abroad experience)! It may be expensive and difficult to line up everything and make sure all the classes transfer for a study abroad trip, but the cost is worth the benefits! There are always a million reasons not to do something. Work during a summer and/or search for travel grants from your school and elsewhere to fund it if needed. When else in your life are you going to have the chance to life and learn for several months in a foreign country? Take advantage of the now. Otherwise, your next chance to do extended travel may not be until you are retiring, and you won't have the energy to do the things your young spry self can do now!

#3. Be Intentional:

Time is more precious than gold, you have a limited supply and cannot buy any more on the commodities exchange. Be intentional with your time, in your jobs, organizations, relationships, and otherwise. Only spend time on things that are important to you, and things that will help advance you towards your future goals. 

Build rather than consume: Everyone has some degree of free time. I believe there are two ways to spend your free time: building and consuming. Building is anything that develops skills and/or creates something worthwhile, while consuming is something you enjoy that isn't necessarily a growth experience. For example, a "building" activity could be starting a student organization. You learn how to work with a group of people with common interests, establish an organization, be a leader, and complete something within a larger institution (all important skills you will use again after you graduate). Another could be mentoring high school students in the area, you learn how to teach, motivate others, and manage your time. Examples of consuming could be going out to parties with friends, watching the football game, playing video-games, or going to a music festival. Consuming is important to blow off steam, but it shouldn't be the only way you spend your free time. Try to spend a portion of your free time on meaningful growth experiences every week.

Have a side project: Its easier to spend time building if you have a side project you enjoy. I've found it useful to always have a big project I am working on, outside of my classes. It could be a research project, a club you are starting, an app you are developing, or a paper you are writing to submit for publication. As your project grows and you become more passionate, you grow as well, and you might find yourself spending even more time working on it.

Be strategic about your job: Pick jobs that will also provide relevant growth experiences. Become a rep for a company you admire, get paid to work in a research lab, find meaningful internships, or TA a class. Don't just work at a front desk or get a job at a restauraunt waiting tables. If you need the money and there aren't many options, by all means there is no shame in doing that kind of work, but always be on the lookout for an experience that will teach you meaningful skills. Some may say this is a criticism of low-skilled labor positions, but I say why not have your cake and eat it too? A good job pays the bills and also gives you valuable connections and practical experience.

Stack, stack, stack: A friend once told me, it is such a cruel celestial joke that we are born into this world with unlimited curiosity, but limited time. We want to do so may things, but are limited to just a few. How can we ever choose? Won't spending too much time on any one thing limit us from doing the other things we desire? I'd like to introduce the principle of Stacking, conceived by a fellow Buckeye (and fellow Zach), Zach Friedman. Zach explains stacking with an example of his friend Nick's success. Nick likes breakfast food, being a tour guide, and advocating for small businesses. He is also a skilled writer. Nick combined his passions and skills into a successful blog, http://breakfastwithnick.wordpress.com. By stacking his skills and passions together, Nick achieved a result greater than the sum of its parts. Stacking recognizes you may not have the time to do everything, but you can make the time you spend on projects fulfilling in multiple ways. If you like teaching, science, and working with faculty you can become a TA and do all three! You can take that A+ paper you wrote for class and submit it to an undergraduate journal and get it published.  You don't need to feel limited to doing something that only fulfills some of your desires. By combining your passions and skills into one project, you get an incredible result that will expand your horizons. (Informed and inspired by Zach Friedman's talk at TEDxYouth@Columbus, Living Life Intentionally, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2JCd19zi2s)

#4. Find Good Friends, Stay Close to Old Ones:

Aristotle said that friendship is like silver. But, why of all the precious metals did he choose silver? Why not gold or platinum, which are certainly more valuable? It is because silver tarnishes, and requires regular polishing and maintenance to retain its beauty.

Your friends will define you: On a group retreat last year, someone told me "You are increasingly becoming the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with." That thought resonated with me and still informs how I spend my time with other people. Your friend circles will define who your are in college and onward. Its important to associate yourself with people that will help you grow positively. Seek out friends that are doing the things you want to be doing and succeeding in their studies. 

Spend time with those you care about:  Mark Twain said, "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education". Once again, your classes are your number one priority, but don't make it your only priority. Branch out and find clubs and organizations you enjoy. Build things with other people. Call your family every week and make an effort stay close to friends you cherish. You will have a lot of people in your life in college, and you will have the opportunity to form relationships (romantic, friendly, familial) with different people. Don't waste time on people that don't care about you; invest your time in people that matter. When the valleys and peaks of life hit, these will be the people that you share them with.

#5. Find Yourself:

Above all, college is a time for finding yourself. 

Self-reflect: Try to take some time out of every week on self-reflection. A friend of mine  takes an hour long walk every Sunday to think about their week. It may initially feel like something not worth doing, but introspection allows you to make the most of every blunder. If you made a mistake, reflecting can help you think about why it happened and allow you to prevent it from happening in the future. You will begin to cherish your mistakes and turn them into a tool for success. If you blow a class presentation, you can be glad it happened now and not when you are working and an important client is on the line. Why did you blow that presentation? What can you improve to do better? Reflection is the key to minimizing future mistakes.

Learn to lead: Being a leader doesn't just mean being an officer or a president of a student organization. Being a leader means learning to empower people to reach their maximum potential. Bosses have titles, but leaders are visible in all walks of life. When working in groups or student organizations in college, try to help other people be the best they can be. The best leaders always do.

Find what you love: Lastly, (but certainly not leastly) find your passion in college. A huge portion of the people in the US hate their job and loathe going to work every Monday morning. The word "work" is weighted with the sense that it is something we don't enjoy doing. Doing something you hate 9-5, every day, for the rest of your adult life is a miserable way to live. Find something you love to do in college, that you are good at, and that people will pay you to do (for me it was medicine, or "pre-med"). And when you find it, pursue it with all of your being, never letting go of your passion.


Thanks for reading! If you have any thoughts or questions, please comment below or email zadavidson@gmail.com. Good luck in everything you do.

Sincerely,

Zach